Raag Malhaar

D-8 Allnutt South.

It was a furnace – the west facing room would receive the burning afternoon sunlight, the walls would absorb them so perfectly and retain their imprint till the night, reflecting it on everything and every being inside the room. Sometimes, the overhead fan seemed like a saviour. Sometimes, it felt like the villain, spreading the heat in the room more evenly than before. Even buckets of water sprinkled all over the room would make no difference.

I would try my best to keep my calm. But the heat would become one of the rarest of the rare reasons why anger would well inside me. Especially in the third year, when I would see it as a symbol of injustice. My preferences had not been respected even though I had deserved to get a room of my choice, based on my merit in the college residence. But in those days, anarchy ruled, nobody cared and so I was, stuck.

I would whine and fill pages after pages of my diary sometimes, only to be reminded by my own self that it was fine. After all, I only would say in my morning prayer every day ‘Whatever You do, is good for me’ (Jo Tudh Bhavai Saee Bhaleekar) and then complaining about the state of things later in the day was like being double-faced.

And so my mind would wander over to tangents, for hours after hours – afterall what was the good hidden therein, of me being unfairly allotted the hottest room of the block?

As it was programmed, the good unfolded very soon as my search for it became more and more intense over days. It unfolded so beautifully, so perfectly.

I had started playing harmonium in second year after a long interregnum of 6-7 years. The gap perhaps made the activity more enjoyable and meaningful. I would experiment with different ragas, some of them would just rise from within, I had left them dormant in my memory for long. From one, another would emerge, and another and still another and I would be entranced by the compositions that would come out of my fingers, so effortlessly. I would be surprised at myself– was it really me playing?

One of these hot, whining afternoons, I remembered a small note of Malhaar (the raag known for causing rain!) that I had learnt while young. I started experimenting and recreated the whole sthaai and antra. Youtube helped and I found an amazing shabad sung by Bhai Nirmal Singh* – It said:

Baras megh ji, til bilam na laao

(Rain down cloud, do not delay)

Although I used to sing raag malhaar when young, the same hymns, the same compositions never had the same kind of resonance back then. Now the raga would emerge out of the depths of the sultry heat, I could feel the power of every word. As if my entire soul would cry for rain, for an escape from the furnace. It was pure joy!

Sometimes I would sing for hours altogether and then look back after a while and an eager neighbour would be sitting on the other end of my bed  enjoying the music and pressing for ‘one more’. Once, out of sheer coincidence (was it?), it started raining. I was too elated...

My harmonium had become like an air conditioner. 

It cooled my soul, my thoughts, my perspective on everything. I can never forget the peace I felt in those heated afternoons, they were the coolest ever!

Thanks to the heat, I understood real meaning of raag malhaar and the compositions in my scripture. Thanks to the heat, I found a terrific way of dealing with my anger and complaints.

Today, a friend shared this ‘miyan ki malaar’ youtube link on facebook (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7R4kdCi1zY)– and it brought back a whirlwind of old memories and triggered this post while the lovely malhaar is still playing in the background.

They continue to elate me. All smiles.

*Bhai Nirmal Singh's Baras Megh Ji link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7BVWrrEOFo