The ceiling was blurred; the room was full of moisture and an outflow of emotions. She had been missing home badly that month. There was nothing bad about her surroundings, but it was as if her soul was unable to find a reason to be happy. Everything in the world looked morose – the road outside festooned with dung cakes, the air conditioned air tight room, and the yellow paint on the wall in front. Holes had started appearing in her life – little tender holes of vacuum – of remembrance of her mama’s tight embrace, of her grandma’s warm hug and of her daddy’s instant jokes. The next day was her birthday and there she lay in her cuboidal room, cut off from the world – empty and terribly alone.
People talked about the omnipresence of God, of how God’s love could shoo away all the life’s dreariness. But where was God at this critical juncture? Where?
…in that dingy room? In the cupboard? On the study table?....the study table?
“You find God on your study table” - the Reverend had enunciated in the hall that day during the morning assembly. “In one of those moments of pure joy and enlightenment when you strike upon the answer to a tough question, the explanation to a confusing concept, the logic to a long vexing argument – clouds of confusion depart and you see light. That light, my children is God and God himself. “
She got up all teary eyed questioning the existence of the world. Looking beyond the pillow, wet with the secretions of her tear glands, she questioned ‘’Where are you, man? People find you on their study tables, you are not on mine --- are you, my Lord?”
The world became less blurred as she wiped her eyes with the towel kept beside the pillow and wore her spectacles. She switched on the light and blankly stared at her study table – one neat pile of books she had got issued from the library and another one of thick box files full of notes lay in perfect peace.
Her eyes wandered from the shelf to the lamp, searching for truth – tiny crystals of truth in the words she had heard at college. If only she could find a trace… if only a scintilla of evidence… if only a whisper… if only a reminder…
…and there her eyes wandering like a zombie stopped, stuck.
Amidst the pens and the pencils in her pen stand, stood a neat rose-stick, tall and cute. She found a small stick note stuck to the wall with words penned on it in red.
MAY GOD BLESS YOU
LOVE
VINOD AUNTY
The new warden in her block had written those words out of love and compassion, she mistook her birthday for that day and had left her gift on her study table while she was out.
The Reverend was right.
People talked about the omnipresence of God, of how God’s love could shoo away all the life’s dreariness. But where was God at this critical juncture? Where?
…in that dingy room? In the cupboard? On the study table?....the study table?
“You find God on your study table” - the Reverend had enunciated in the hall that day during the morning assembly. “In one of those moments of pure joy and enlightenment when you strike upon the answer to a tough question, the explanation to a confusing concept, the logic to a long vexing argument – clouds of confusion depart and you see light. That light, my children is God and God himself. “
She got up all teary eyed questioning the existence of the world. Looking beyond the pillow, wet with the secretions of her tear glands, she questioned ‘’Where are you, man? People find you on their study tables, you are not on mine --- are you, my Lord?”
The world became less blurred as she wiped her eyes with the towel kept beside the pillow and wore her spectacles. She switched on the light and blankly stared at her study table – one neat pile of books she had got issued from the library and another one of thick box files full of notes lay in perfect peace.
Her eyes wandered from the shelf to the lamp, searching for truth – tiny crystals of truth in the words she had heard at college. If only she could find a trace… if only a scintilla of evidence… if only a whisper… if only a reminder…
…and there her eyes wandering like a zombie stopped, stuck.
Amidst the pens and the pencils in her pen stand, stood a neat rose-stick, tall and cute. She found a small stick note stuck to the wall with words penned on it in red.
MAY GOD BLESS YOU
LOVE
VINOD AUNTY
The new warden in her block had written those words out of love and compassion, she mistook her birthday for that day and had left her gift on her study table while she was out.
The Reverend was right.
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